i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
