I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
we should paint friendship bongs
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
