Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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