she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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