about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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