dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
