Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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