I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
