just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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