Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize