I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
NoShamevember. You game?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
