I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
