Betty ford says i'm here all night
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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