while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
