I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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