if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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