Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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