Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
