In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
