booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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