I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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