I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
