gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
