i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is Oprah even human
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
