i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
