BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
