oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
