Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Someone signed my nipple.
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