He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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