I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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