Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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