So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
