the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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