I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
