Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
