He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
