Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we made out on top of his cat.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
