Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
