apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
