i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
