the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize