The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
