question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
