At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
