I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
