i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
