the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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