please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
