i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
