Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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