I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
