O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize