Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
