HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
