Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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