Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i think my tv is drunk

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night

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(201): View more from New Jersey

somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

Fav 25 7102 2099
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(248): View more from Michigan

i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"

(314): View more from Missouri

Why are our lives so predictable?

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(219): View more from Indiana

Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again

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