I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
