the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
