your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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