It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
