I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
