it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
