At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize