I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
