nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
