HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He did a backflip because drugs
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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