omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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