He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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