real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
