God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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